What an amazing moment it was when đ shared this with me; their facial expression one of wonder and realisation. Prior to this, đ could have won a championship for being horrid to themselves (though hopefully such prizes donât exist). I had suggested at the beginning of our work that we could try to help đ develop a kinder inner voice only to receive a familiar response, âIt sounds soft, fluffy. I need to be horrid to me to make sure I get things done.â
Dr Heidi Green, in her brilliant book, âThe Path to Self-Love and World Dominationâ, asks the reader to consider how you motivate a child when theyâre learning to ride their bike. She suggests you are more likely to offer a pep talk, support, compassion and encouragement rather than criticism and insults. These are the same qualities we are likely to offer to a friend. Yet, for many of the children and young people I support, these offerings feel impossible. It is essential we support children and young people to develop a relationship with themself that is built on strong foundations of self kindness. As đ shared, you can choose to remain horrid to yourself and you will feel equally horrid. But, and hereâs the magic, trying to be nice to yourself will make you feel better. It is #WorldKindnessDay on Friday. I will definitely be encouraging the children and young people I meet this week to try and offer themselves kindness. And I will be right there to support them as they do. For, as đ quickly realised, being kind to yourself is neither soft nor fluffy. It is hard, gritty work but the outcome is priceless. Take good care, Amyâš